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Aries |
March 21-April 19 You are the kind of person
that refuses to wait, you ram your way through whenever you feel you need
to. Watch crossing the street this week, someone
you flipped off may want to run you over. |
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Taurus |
April 20-May 20 Bullheaded and stubborn, nothing
can sway you from your inane opinions, which you must force on everyone
constantly. The co-worker you told off last week
is getting a promotion....To being your boss, good luck job hunting |
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Geminii |
May 21-June 20 You just can't make up your mind,
always thinking two different ways at once. Though
one part of you wants to date the cute blonde, the other part can't stay
away that hot brunette. Too bad they are best friends, a change of
address, say from Seattle to New York might be advisable |
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Cancer
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June 21-July 22 A homebody that is always a wallflower
at dances and parties, lack of personality is truly your strongest trait.
Remember to lock the doors this week, an old "friend" may want to drop
in and "visit" otherwise. |
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Leo
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July 23-August 22 Your loud mouth constantly keeps
your friends and coworkers aware of your presence. There is no relaxing
with you around. That bet you made with your "buddies"
is about to payoff, in spades! I would watch my back for a while. |
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Virgo
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Aug 23-Sept 22 You are fussy about your appearance
and you think your feces smells like roses. A person
you dated in high school that you dumped will show back into your life.
They will be rich, successful and carrying a grudge..... towards you!! |
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Libra |
Sept 23-Oct 22 You always want things to be
fair, down to the point of measuring pie pieces with a ruler so everyone
has equal sections. Your best friend just announced
her engagement .....to your boyfirend. Remember to smile at the reception. |
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Scorpio
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Oct 23-Nov 21 Getting even is a way of life for you.
you still carry a grudge about that kid who took your milk in preschool.
Your hard work and dedication are finally about to pay off. That vacation
you wanted is at hand. Too bad it is at Bellevue for an "extended" stay. |
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Sagittarius |
Nov 22-Dec 21 You just can't let anyone else enjoy their
small victories, you have to shoot them down. That
visit from an old flame stirs up fond memories, and the penicillin the
doctor has will take care of the other lasting effects. |
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Capricorn |
Dec 22-Jan 19 The only thing you think about is your libido
and are constantly on the look out for new conquests.Go
ahead and get that makeover you were contemplating, it won't help but maybe
you'll feel better about the massive amount of cash it took. |
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Aquarius
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Jan 20-Feb 18 Comedian Adam Sandler is your hero,
and you strive to emulate him. The consummate barfly,
perhaps getting that 5th DUI this week will give you pause. |
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Pisces
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Feb19- Mar 20 You don't feel as though you fit in at any gathering,
always the fish out of water That party you have
planned this week will be a huge success! Everyone will rave about your
special guest, your uncle who was just released from his 25 year
jail term and showed up at your house unexpectedly. |